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GG Runs
for Office
Dear
Friends,
As voting day approaches, I ask that you consider voting for me
in the upcoming election.
As many of you know, I have been coveting the title of “Queen of
America” for some time. As your future queen, I promise to serve
you well, as benevolent dictator (dictatoress?) and will keep
your best interests foremost in my service to you.
I intend to run under the “Peace and Quiet” party.
I have made this decision after having spent the better part of
the last two weeks avoiding a bombardment of pre recorded
telephone messages beseeching me from dawn until well after
nightfall to vote “this way or that.”
I have received pre recorded msgs from the President, the former
President, the former President’s wife, the Governor and an
assortment of local “celebrities” all advising me as to how to
cast my vote.
It’s not enough that we have email “spam”; now we have telephone
spam, as well!
I pledge, that, should I become your Queen, the only Spam you
will ever receive from me, will be suitable for frying with your
scrambled eggs for breakfast.
Not only has my telephone been bombarded, but my mailbox runneth
over with letters, flyers, post cards, flow charts and full
color brochures with tattle tales describing the downfalls of
the opposing candidates.
There is no escaping this clamor by spending a relaxing evening
in front of the TV either!
Ads maligning opponents are running non stop, from channel to
channel, language to language. Here in California, I can now
described the flaws of the candidates in English, Spanish, and
with an Austrian accent.
Political billboards are lining the streets, sidewalks, and
highways and are distracting us from our beautiful scenery. One
local candidate has accused his opponent of stealing signs from
the neighbors’ front lawns!
My dear friends, should I be elected you Queen/Benevolent
Dictatoress, there will be no need for the hype that we have all
been subjected to during the past month. If I become your queen,
the only phone calls you will receive from me will be live, not
pre recorded, and will be filled with my chit chat, not with
wild accusations. The only mail you will receive from me will be
my Christmas cards, with photos of my pets, and, of course, you
already know I much I dislike billboards...
Due to all the pre election hoopla and commotion during the past
few weeks, I hope you will join me in selecting the “Peace and
Quiet” party and will vote for ME on Tuesday!
Always,
Your not-so-humble future queen, Gabriella
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