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A Hard
Day to Leave the Planet
It's a
beautiful December day at Carmel Beach with nothing to interrupt
the intense blue of the midday sky except a few white sea gulls
floating by.
It's one of those days when I am especially thankful to be
alive! Thankful to soak up the sensuality of the sea air.
Thankful to feel the grit of fine sand under my feet, sand that
I will still be rediscovering and vacuuming out of the car weeks
from now!
Before I left the house this morning, I received a message from
Ted that Jo Ann had died peacefully at home last night. It had
been her last Christmas. Their four sons had visited for the
Holidays and were there when she passed.
Earlier this year I brought up the sensitive topic of Hospice
care with one of her sons. Our conversation took place on the
eve of my early morning flight to Washington, DC for my own
surgery. I asked him whether the family had considered Hospice
care, a question that must be asked gently, as many families
fear that turning to Hospice means "giving up."
Jo Ann and Ted had struggled through a series of experimental
treatments in an attempt to cure her cancer. The treatments only
seemed to weaken her, and, in her 70's, Jo Ann didn't have a lot
of extra energy to spare.
The family was brave enough to realize the benefits of Hospice,
and, with the agency's guidance, Ted was able to keep Jo Ann at
home, in her own comfortable surroundings, until the end.
The first thing I thought of when hearing the news this morning
was that Jo Ann had been able to live through Christmas. I have
often heard that many patients remain here with us through
important holidays and anniversaries.
The second thing I thought of on this crisp and glorious morning
was, "what a hard day to leave the planet!"
When we know we are dying we want to hang on and celebrate every
sunrise, every holiday, every beautiful full moon.
No matter how we feel physically, we are inspired to sit
outdoors on these beautiful clear days and love the time that we
are gifted with.
As much as we look forward to being at peace in beautiful
Heaven, on a day like today at the beach we ask ourselves, "Can
Heaven possibly be more beautiful than this?"
If you must take me Lord, please let it be on a cloudy, blustery
wintry day when it's so cold I simply want to hide under the
covers and sleep.
Please take me on a day when this planet offers me no
temptations to stay and search for unbroken seashells, or to
fill my lungs with the fresh sea air.
Don't take me on a day when I when I want to skip along the
incoming waves that nip at my bare ankles.
For a beautiful day like today would be a day hard to leave this
planet.
December 27, 1999
An excerpt
from "Where the Red Tailed Hawk Flies"
Copyright 2000 by Gabriella Graham |
